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Saturday, August 18, 2007

I like big butts and I cannot lie

This is not me! However one of my most distinctive 'ASS'sets is my derriere. Its so cute and high you could place a drink on it. Its taken me years to come to terms with it. Even at my skinniest weight , the butt added on a whole other size and dimension. My men , past and present , haven't complained. So anyway, , the other day , feeling fat already because I was assigned to a photo shoot with our companies in house models... I got the call. We had worked all morning making up the vapid young stick thin models. They even wanted us to get in on a publicity photo. So i squeezed myself into the group shot and acted as if I was touching up a model. Hoping my ass wasn't jutting out too much. We then caught some lunch , when the Booker from the caterer called. He was nervous ,I could tell. He started off with how great a job I do, the compliments I get,etc. However they had one issue with me. My pants were just too tight in their opinion. Now Certain Someone and I shopped for work pants together and even he finally concluded that all pants would cling to my form, so it made no sense going up a size! Cant they see I'm a full figured black woman. The Booker said if I continue to work for them , I must have my pants approved. At first I took it stride, and then it started to agitate me. I know he didn't want want to deliver that message I wondered if he called those wide girls of Latin orgin as well. I felt like blubber as I returned to the shoot. My friend and colleague Vicky said some wife must have complained about my ass. Come to think of it the week before this one man kept asking me to fetch him drinks as his wife looked on. . I had nightmares I was a bleached whale. The next day I shopped for "fatty" pants. I tried on pants 2 sizes larger to mask my butt. Nothing worked. You could still see the bulge. Finally I found the pair. It made me look shapeless and required a lot of belting in. And it cost me about $160. I will save the receipt for my taxes as a work related expense. I modeled them for Certain Someone and he was unimpressed. Sexy they were not,but that was the point. I will look like a sexless blob now when I serve. I give myself daily affirmation that my butt is OK. They just cant handle the butt.. I'm too bootylicious for them.

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Saturday, August 04, 2007

Certain Someone and I Are Happy Parents

Betta Close Up
Originally uploaded by sammorrowphotography
We've done it ! Certain Someone and I have taken the first step. Out of sheer boredom and anticipating loneliness( Certain Someone is leaving me for a work project. He'll be gone a few months), I bought a fish. From time to time I fish set my neighbors little speck of a fish. The pet store beckoned. I'm not flush with funds so a fancy menagerie in a expensive aquarium was out of the question. In the back of the store I saw these gorgeous fishes in tiny round bowls. I was informed they were male Betta's . Seems they are Siamese Fighting fish. They cant cohabitate with other males, or they will kill each other. Also I was told rather than buying him one female companion,he'd need two. They like to breed and one male Betta will wear out the female.Kind of like a wife /mistress thing they have going. I also purchased a cute Betta kit Aquarium to house our baby in. He's a gorgeous red color. Certain Someone seems to like him. We worry about him. Upon coming home,Idid a lot of research. Seems these are some of natures most beautiful fish,but very finicky and sensitive. A Betta's life is severely compromised with the slightest wrongdoing in care. Seems they are quite the ornamental fad,but a lot of people miss crucial care steps. Clean water and properly balanced water are key. And a attentive parent must always be on the lookout for any sign of disease and infection. We named our angel Betta Baby , and he seems thriving.The light from the big plasma TV agitates him, so we keep him on the dining room table. He doesn't seem to eat much, but hes not lethargic. I pray I wont kill him. I figure first the fish, then perhaps a dog, and who knows I might be ready for a real baby.

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Glamah-rous cook and baker. Thanks for visiting. I love to receive comments.