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Saturday, August 18, 2007

I like big butts and I cannot lie

This is not me! However one of my most distinctive 'ASS'sets is my derriere. Its so cute and high you could place a drink on it. Its taken me years to come to terms with it. Even at my skinniest weight , the butt added on a whole other size and dimension. My men , past and present , haven't complained. So anyway, , the other day , feeling fat already because I was assigned to a photo shoot with our companies in house models... I got the call. We had worked all morning making up the vapid young stick thin models. They even wanted us to get in on a publicity photo. So i squeezed myself into the group shot and acted as if I was touching up a model. Hoping my ass wasn't jutting out too much. We then caught some lunch , when the Booker from the caterer called. He was nervous ,I could tell. He started off with how great a job I do, the compliments I get,etc. However they had one issue with me. My pants were just too tight in their opinion. Now Certain Someone and I shopped for work pants together and even he finally concluded that all pants would cling to my form, so it made no sense going up a size! Cant they see I'm a full figured black woman. The Booker said if I continue to work for them , I must have my pants approved. At first I took it stride, and then it started to agitate me. I know he didn't want want to deliver that message I wondered if he called those wide girls of Latin orgin as well. I felt like blubber as I returned to the shoot. My friend and colleague Vicky said some wife must have complained about my ass. Come to think of it the week before this one man kept asking me to fetch him drinks as his wife looked on. . I had nightmares I was a bleached whale. The next day I shopped for "fatty" pants. I tried on pants 2 sizes larger to mask my butt. Nothing worked. You could still see the bulge. Finally I found the pair. It made me look shapeless and required a lot of belting in. And it cost me about $160. I will save the receipt for my taxes as a work related expense. I modeled them for Certain Someone and he was unimpressed. Sexy they were not,but that was the point. I will look like a sexless blob now when I serve. I give myself daily affirmation that my butt is OK. They just cant handle the butt.. I'm too bootylicious for them.

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  1. Anonymous12:40 AM

    Now this is an interesting topic on which to muse. In these politically correct days it's not often that an opportunity presents itself to talk to a luvly young lass about her assets.

    Not all males are into "Barbie" - in fact, if I remember correctly it's also one of JLO's best assets too and she's been known to make many a man "sit up" and take notice.

    As Oprah would say "you stay with it girl, flaunt it and work it .... and let the other stick insects eat lettuce".

  2. Anonymous6:02 PM

    What type of work are you doing that they need to "approve" your pants??? that is truly crazy if you do NOT look unprofessional I don't see what the issues could be!!

  3. Thanks for your support. It is ridiculous and the irony of it, is that its in the food industry. Nevertheless I will show them my new shapeless clothes and if its not good enough, then it will be time to move on.


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Glamah-rous cook and baker. Thanks for visiting. I love to receive comments.