The Shop Is Closed

After a series of monogamous ( at least on my part) serial "relationships" since last Fall, I'm closing shop, and taking a holiday . Work is actually getting busier, my card is full with all the Spring/Summer benefits I'm actually helping with, or just plan to attend. You have to ask yourself occasionally , would you take any of these romantic interests to these affairs?' After the last one , a Transylvanian veterinarian who was close to a decade younger in age, I have to say No!Don't ask, and I wont tell.
So anyway, this agency I plunked down at least two month's mortgage called this afternoon to remind me of my 'date' tomorrow evening. Just what I need now. I had signed up at the urging of relatives and friends who are eager to see me married off and start breeding. I have the same dream, its just hard to make it a reality. I figured if anyone forks over that amount of cash, 'Its a Sure Thing'!
Date#1 Dentist with overbearing father. At the age of Forty Something, has to sneak and visit his mother ( bad divorce). Did I mention when I asked about his most recent travel experience he confessed he had been drugged and robbed in Vegas. He woke up with no clothes except his watch was still on, and his laptop on the desk. He was bitter about it, understandably. No call back.
Date#2 -Date 3 don't remember , No call backs.
Date #4 Gold Toothed Carpenter with Islamic leanings. However he was reading and passing out Christian fundamentalist 'tracts' on how to find true love. Recently Divorced. Call Back, but I declined . He got all hissy and said I misunderstood his intentions
Dates #4-now don't remember except really depressing. In one of those I actually got stood up. A new low. One doesn't pay thousands to get 'STOOD UP' The good dates I look forward to , always mysteriously go 'On Hold', or suddenly get busy. I think they make the dream profiles up.
Well any way, I have a big Gala coming up in which I will be solo. I always get photographed solo( who would have thought little ole" me in the glossies!). My best gay friend said that the dates I bring , mess up my photo opps. Good Morning America was just talking about how to pose 'SLIMMER" this morning. I will heed their advice on the ' Red Carpet' sans the man. Except I do have this male friend that likes to crash my Black tie events in jeans. He mentioned he was planning to this time around .His own Mission Impossible III. Liker I proclaimed earlier, 'Shop Closed'. I need to board up the windows as well, and restock the inventory.